Finding The Perfect Classic: It’s About Who You Know

It takes a lot more than Bring a Trailer to find a classic for a really good deal.

Finding the car is inevitably the hardest, most uncontrollable aspect. To get an incredible deal, you won’t necessarily have the option to buy the perfect car at the perfect time. The perfect car for a price that you can afford won’t be on Autotrader, Craigslist, or Bring a Trailer. In fact, you will never find the perfect car for an incredible steal, but if you’re lucky, you can find something that is close enough to your dream. Maybe you’re seeking a clean Integra Type-R, but your best friend’s Aunt is thinking about selling her old Civic. As it turns out, that old Civic is an unmolested 2005 Civic Si Hatchback. Sure, it’s not the Integra, but a clean Si Hatch is incredibly rare, very popular with enthusiasts, and accomplishes most of what the Integra can do. The advice I can offer is to buy it, buy it, buy it. And don’t look back.

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This is the secret to all the stories on Bimmerworld about finding a perfect e30 325is for $1,000. They were all bought by a family friend who was looking for a 635csi, but jumped on a deal on a great car when they had the opportunity. As The Rolling Stones said, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find…” a clean e30. So what does this mean for most car enthusiasts? Well, it indicates that if you don’t already know people with cool or interesting cars, you probably won’t ever come across the cheap and clean classic that you were dreaming about. Sorry to break that sad news to many of you. And no, this isn’t really going to end with a glimpse of hope for Joe the Car Enthusiast in Central Connecticut. The story does end, however, with a glimmer of hope, and potential bankruptcy, for me.

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I discovered the opportunity to purchase a one owner, well used but not junky e30 325e. This is certainly not a desirable car compared to a clean 325is, but for $500 it’s hard to say no to a cult classic. I expressed interest in the car a full year and a half before the owner decided to sell because I had heard that the owner, the father of a friend, was considering selling the car for cheap. This is representative of how enthusiasts must seek out the unmolested classics and future-classics. Don’t wait until they get on Autotrader. That is just too late.

To further illustrate the importance of knowing the right people, I want to share another example that took place before my spontaneous purchase of the e30. My neighbor owned a 250,000 mile 964 that I always envied. I asked him about it repeatedly, inquiring about everything. Eventually, when time came to sell, he mentioned it to me in case I was interested. While a 250,000 mile 911 is not going to be Concours quality, the price would certainly be dollar-menu cheap. With a clear and extensive service record, I thought I shouldn’t pass this up. I did, though. And now I don’t own a dirt-cheap 964 911. I learned my lesson, and now own a messy, slow, and classic blue over blue e30.

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Right away, I need to say that owning this e30 325e has not been particularly easy. I immediately needed to replace a bevy of insignificant but essential components, like the missing trunk lock and frozen drivers door lock. However, the car drove well, braked strong, had no warning lights, and usually started on the first try. The Eta was plain quick in comparison to the only other classic car I was used to- an even older, more dilapidated 1970 Series II Land Rover. So yes, I was happy with the purchase, and enjoyed the car for two drives between Boston and NYC, street parking in Boston, jaunts to the beach, and any other non-essential task. I have thoroughly enjoyed my spontaneous classic car ownership, but the past year and a half with the Eta has brought me to a likely unpopular conclusion. There is a better way to enjoy a “classic” car than owning a old car. More on this next.

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Would Jane Jacobs Drive a Porsche?

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Remember when everybody thought it would be a good idea to bulldoze cities and replace them with parking lots, “parks”, highways and high-rises? I don’t, but apparently that was a part of modernism and kind of a thing in the 1950’s.

We can see modernism’s byproducts today and they’re pretty unfortunate. When a couple says they want to buy a “prewar” or “new development”, they are actually saying they don’t want to buy one of those mid-century debacles.

Why are they so bad? Well, they weren’t really built for, you know, actual people. Instead, planners, architects, and developers built them for statistics.

Sticking people in a tower frees up space below for parking or a park. This makes a lot of sense on paper; people have more space, air, and light. The city gets cleaner and more logically laid out as well. But none of this worked because of a single simple fact. People want to know what’s going on.

They want to know what’s going on with their surroundings, be that a neighborhood or building, and a high-rise makes this knowing this extremely difficult. Suburbs seem to make knowing this easier, with all that nature and space, but consider the commute. Increasing traffic has made commutes longer, more obnoxious, and something from which the younger generation rightly rebels.

This leaves a typical coastal city with just a few livable neighborhoods, the old ones near the city center, and they costs a pretty penny.

The solution might seem simple; just build more West Villages and Beacon Hills with a dollop of light rail in between. The problem is, you can’t, and not just because of money.

The government has, with mostly good intentions, enacted a host of codes and rules that make recreating small neighborhoods simply impossible. Don’t get me wrong; today’s apartments are more energy efficient, handicapped-accessible, and less fire prone than ever. But each of those improvements had a price beyond cash.

A green building will have thicker walls and thicker windows. This may not sound like much until you realize that you can’t hear anything outside and those the windows are just fashioned to look like something a pilgrim hacked together; in reality they are hermetically sealed triple-layer plastic and steel clad factory creations. What’s that little vertical seam along the bricks? In other words, you don’t know what’s going on.

This applies to the all those extra wide doorways and extra gently slopped staircases that modern rules necessitate. As much as they improve the building’s safety and functionality, they take the building ever farther away from a human scale. More often than not, the final product just feels a little bit…wrong.

Building a building that partially avoids this fate is possible but frightfully expensive, since components that both look hand-made and perform to modern standards require quite a bit of labor. This applies to cars as well.

Yes, we’ve finally gotten to cars, specifically air cooled Porsches. Why have they gotten so expensive? Some say it’s because of a general sports car bubble, but instead people have realized air-cooled 911’s are an automotive West Village.

You know the deal. The steering’s communicative. The harder you press on the throttle, the faster you go. Things are simple. You can see outside. What looks like leather is leather and what looks like plastic is plastic. Everything makes sense because you’re in touch with the car. Everyone’s known this about old 911’s; the difference now is that everyone knows those traits aren’t coming back. Ever.

Although I risk sounding like an anti-government crank, the truth is that regulations really have constrained the supply of the kinds of cars and houses that just feel right.

The good news is we don’t have to eliminate all rules, just loosen them a bit and hope automakers take advantage. Cars perform better in crashes because of thicker pillars and stronger steel. Catalytic converters don’t sap power like they used to and engines are just thermodynamically better, even without forced induction. Why not just loosen the rules to say, mid-00’s levels and then tighten them at the pace of natural innovation?

What might such a regulatory relaxation look like? CAFE standards would be less tied to a vehicle’s footprint and have separate categories based on a car’s purpose, as in relaxed standards for convertibles, wagons, SUVs, and sports cars. This alone would go a long way towards preventing automotive entropy and the Honda CR-V-ification. Certain models, like the Crown Vic or Wrangler, could receive some sort of vehicular landmark status too.

None of those proposals would turn the air brown or submerge the east coast, instead they would treat special cars the way we treat special buildings. Since cars have a harder time lasting forever(something about moving I guess), the rules just apply to cars in continuous production. The result: you don’t have to be rich enough to live in the West Village to drive one.

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

Please tell me these two owners are dating.  Please tell me they both parked next to each other once and knew it was love at first site.

The Mini Cooper is sporty, but fun, somewhat practical, and genuine.  The Jeep is offroady, but fun. somewhat practical. and genuine.  Two vehicles marketed at completely different lifestyles.  When put right next to each other like this, however, you can clearly see how the owners have a lot more in common than one might assume.  This blue is also one of the most fantastic car colors ever.  World Rally Blue, Estoril Blue, Blue Candy, Hydro Blue etc.  Most brands seem to offer a color similar to this.

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SHOW-OFF

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Are vanity plates cool?  They always attract attention, and I enjoy a good “NTAJEEP” plate on a Defender (see previous posts), but they can be a little tacky.  At what point does a custom plate change from funny, clever, and interesting to overwrought?  This SLR 1 plate is clearly too much of a look-at-me plate.  The car would look better with just a standard issue DMV plate.  I like the low key aspect of pretending you don’t care.  Like driving an Continental GT with road dirt splashed around the fenders.

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Some people would hate that, but it clearly demonstrates the owner appreciates the car for its ability to drive, not its show-off quotient. The SLR 1 plate is so obviously tacky that I lose a little respect for the owner.  Look at the Top Gear Bentley above.  The plate is standard issue blandness. Badass.

LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR

This should really be a 2,000 word editorial, but because I like to keep this site a somewhat easy read, I won’t say too much.

Orlando International Airport has resorted to emojis to attract customer feedback.  Sure, these buttons are much easier to press than filling out an entire survey, but I guarantee you the information gained from this stand is entirely useless.  An airport has far too many disparate conditions that can cause dissatisfaction with passengers.  Furthermore, a bad score offers the airport operator no way to know what to improve.  Was the wait for the monorail too long?  Or maybe there was vomit all over the bathrooms in the terminal.  This kiosk can’t even determine if the passenger is upset because their flight was delayed or their girlfriend was run over by a rental car in the parking lot.

The one thing this kiosk provides is a way to be understood by absolutely anybody.  Sometimes I would call that good design, but here, it’s simply useless.  What is the distinction?  Good design requires two main components- functionality and usability.  A product can be entirely functional, but completely unusable (*cough* Microsoft Excel), or fully usable but nonfunctional (*cough* Yik Yak).  This kiosk is very easy to understand and use, but provides no functional information to the airport.

Can I offer a suggestion to the execs at MCO?  No? Okay, I will anyway.  Put iPads on the monorail so that the captive audience traveling to and from their gates can provide input.  This will segregate feedback into “departing” and “arriving” surveys, allowing the airport to immediately distinguish which side of the airport needs to be improved.

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That would be good design, and I love good design. Hopefully this can become a series highlighting both good and bad design.

SWEET JEEP

The owner of this great Defender definitely gets that a lot.  We get that a lot with our ’70 Series II, as well. Even from people who know better.

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Amazing how well Jeep has cornered the market on durable offroaders amongst those who don’t know any better.  Why did it take Jeep so long to capitalize on that brand equity?  The new Grand Cherokee, Cherokee, and Renegade are selling better than anyone could have expected during Chrysler’s bankruptcy in 2009.  Despite the Cherokee and Renegade being entirely polarizing designs, the Jeep brand is strong enough to overcome the ugly schnoz.

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