I feel like it’s about time that I right something real.  I am feeling really real right now.  Umm cool stuff is cool.  I don’t know what else I was gonna say.  Never mind.

“That new Subaru is so ugly!”  If I had a nickel for every time I heard such an utterance I could buy a used B9 Tribeca, but I probably couldn’t get an Impreza or Legacy.

The benign Manhattan neighborhood aside, Subarus tend to do extremely well on the used market.  How? How are cars that are so ugly when new suddenly so hot when used?

Could each new Subaru be so awful looking that upon its release, the car’s predecessor becomes instantly more desirable?  It wouldn’t be so crazy.  After all, the “bug eye” Impreza looked a lot nicer than the “flying vagina” Impreza that followed it.

I have a different theory and the picture above goes along way towards explaining it. This is downtown Beverly Farms, a tony, sleepy hamlet north of Boston. This town is one of those places that people ceaselessly describe as “nice”. John Updike even lived about 500 yards into those woods behind the parking lot.

Befitting a nice town, its main drag has a bridal shop, a post office, a Dunkin Donuts disguised as a mom and pop store, a non-depressing liquor store, a little brick fire station, two competing health food stores, and two competing lunch shops. (I prefer Half Baked but that’s just like my opinion man) On the corner sits a tiny war memorial, nothing more than a plaque and bubbler sized fountain. Down the street there is also a pizza delivery place, Pride’s Pizza, and an ice cream stand called Captain Dusty’s. The neighborhood still isn’t perfect-being a part of Beverly Beverly means high property taxes for bad roads and schools-but that’s another rant for another time.

Now let’s take a look at what the cars say about the town, or the town says about the cars. Starting with the obvious, station wagons and particularly Volvo XC70s are very popular here. In fact the gray one in the foreground is my mom’s, or since we are in quaint Beverly Farms, my mum’s. Aside from that, we have an Audi A4 from the 90’s and a BMW 3-series wagon. Oh wait. We have something else too. We have the Subarus: a new white Impreza that’s backing out and an old Outback off at the end of the lot.

Let me assure you, those belong here. In fact they are as much a part of the nicescape as the health food stores. Those kinds of cars keep the whole idea of Yankee thrift viable and serve as a counterweight to the GL450/Lululemon/Canada Goose crowd. That said, being thrifty is different from being poor and a typical Subaru driver, here and elsewhere, is a long way from the SSDI office.

The owner of the Impreza most likely had no trouble paying for her car and lives nearby. In fact, I’d guess that her house is probably a lot nicer than that of typical 3 series owner, wagon not withstanding. She probably bought the car outright but if she financed it, she certainly didn’t do anything like a seven-year loan. In other words, despite the car’s relatively modest price, the owner is doing just fine. She just wanted cheap, reliable, and rugged transportation in a slightly quirky package.

This off on the Subaru and after a few years, that car is suddenly “nice” in a way that a similarly priced Toyota could only dream of, and a Dodge could not even conceive. Joke all you want about Subarus being for Northampton lesbians, but who would you rather strike up a conversation with, an assistant professor of English at Smith or the typical credit criminal driving a Dodge Journey?

We begin to associate the car with the driver and at least subconsciously treat it as a bit of a luxury good. Thus the Impreza does very well on the used market, but when a new one comes out, people don’t see all their “nice” friends but rather an ugly little car. Over time people stop seeing the car and see the driver instead. Without the “nice” driver in mind, every new Subaru will be “ugly”.

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